One of the biggest rookie mistakes men make in conversations is asking too many questions.
When you’re speaking to a girl you just met and you flood her with questions, it makes her feel like she’s being grilled.
That’s bad for many reasons:
Interview-style is not how she chats with her close friends. When you throw question after question at her, she thinks, “This man and I aren’t close.”
Interview-style shows no bond. When there’s a bond, you and her just vibe, with few questions. If you must keep asking each other questions, the bond is missing.
Interview-style takes more work. You are in ‘topic search mode’, trying to find something to click on. If you keep going from topic, to topic to topic, that is heavy work. You look weak in social terms.
You surely do not want to overuse the questions.
So what CAN you do?
Change some of those questions into statements
Asking Questions Is Not a Bad Thing
Conversations that use ZERO QUESTIONS tend to feel stiff.
It’s a fun drill to try sometimes: how long can you go talking to a girl without asking her a question?
But in real life, it’s not smart.
Too strict, too stiff, and just odd socially.
It’s normal to ask some dull questions at the start of a convo before you start vibing.
It’s normal to drop questions later in the talk, even when the vibe is good and you’re both clicking and trading lines back and forth.
It’s normal to ask, “Do you ever XYZ?” or “When’s the last time you ABC?”
Questions give a type of link that statements don’t.
A man who uses only statements shows high self-focus.
So, the aim of our ‘questions into statements’ trick is not to turn all your questions into statements.
That’s just odd.
Instead, we will aim to keep our ‘question count’ lower, to build a stronger, more vibe-based feel in the conversation.
HOW MANY QUESTIONS SHOULD YOU ASK HER?
After you walk up and start with a girl, you will likely ask her around five to six questions.
That’s totally fine; you need to get some details from her to work with. Questions can do this job.
But if you’re asking more than five or six questions in the first minute or two, it’s too much.
Maybe she isn’t hooking, maybe you aren’t skilled enough in convos yet to know how to play off the answers she gives you.
Either way, this is too many questions, which is going to show her that the vibe isn’t there, you’re trying hard, and you are not someone close to her.
For example, this is fine: