How to Make Female Friends (as a Guy)

Now more than ever you need female friends and the benefit of having female friends is enormous. I should know since I have female friends so I will list a few benefits of having female friends:

• Having female friends gets you accustomed to having the types of women you like being around and helps you relate better with them.

• Female friends are also good for testing different Game concepts like how to create, build, and direct sexual tension, etc

• They can also provide tons of value in terms of valuable business or social connections, great conversation, to nuanced social lessons and skills - many of my gestures, facial expressions, voice tones, and much of my game come from things I've learned directly from girlfriends/female friends of mine.

Most men subscribe to the "bang any woman you can find" which is rather cringe and shortsighted if you can ask me.

Trust me when I say you don't need to be swiping right until your hands bleed on dating apps or cold approaching women on the streets, malls, etc when you could have your female friends introduce you to one of their single friends. That's word-of-mouth referral right there which makes everything easy for you.

I know...

Writing an post like this is surely going to ruffle a few feathers but I'm going to just give you some game here but first...

CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS?

With female friends, there is always the inevitable question of attraction and SEX.

Men and women treat friendship differently with men more inclined towards alliances with a camaraderie vibe to them and women friendships more inclined towards "social elevators" where friends serve the role of making the girl more secure about herself or her options in life or serve to elevate her position in social settings.

That being clear, there are four (4) dynamics that you can have with women with the standpoint of forming a friendship:

• The Close friend

• The Potential mate

• The Security Blanket

• The Social elevator

THE CLOSE FRIENDS

The Close friend evolves out of one of these friendships that proves valuable to both members where both of the members become close, open up to one another, care about and bond with each other.

Typical with this kind of relationship is the fact that it is quite uncommon and most close friendships become sexual. An example of this is the relationship between a homosexual man and a heterosexual woman.

What I'm advocating is building close friendships with women with you ideally never getting intimate or sexual (remember we are thinking long-term).

Most close-friend relationships are an extension of the "Security Blanket" and "Social elevator" friendship archetype.

THE SECURITY BLANKET

Guys in the dreaded "friend zone" are familiar with the security blanket role. This is the nice guy waiting in the wings and bidding his time.

The Security blanket role is usually one where the girl spends time with someone because it makes her secure and better about herself.

The Security Blanket in this situation is the average nice guy or her fat girlfriend. A woman is always on the lookout for men who can provide resources and make her feel secure (basic survival instinct).

The Security Blanket role is tailored for men with no better option than women which at least provides "a chance" even though said chance is not that considerable.

THE SOCIAL ELEVATOR

This is the kind of person a girl becomes friends with because she perceives him as being higher in status than her.

An example is the fat female friend who is friends with a beautiful girl which is a form of security blanket - a social elevator friendship with the fat girl making the beautiful woman feel secure about her looks and the beautiful woman gives the fat girl a social boost for having a pretty friend.

Now the social elevator for women is finding guys who are connected with all the big bosses in the firm they both work with, the guy who is considered the most popular guy in school., the club manager who can get into exclusive parties in a popular club free of charge etc.

All these men can raise her status and help her gain access to higher-caliber people.

THE POTENTIAL MATE

This blurs the lines on all the others because there is always a question of "what if?" which differs in level of certainty or uncertainty.

Ex; a woman having a male nerdy dork as a friend is very certain she won't sleep with him but having a Chad-looking friend is a whole different ballgame in terms of the possibility of sex.

This is what my friendships with women are like... having your female friends a lot more interested in sex with you than you are with her. It doesn't mean you are not interested but it does mean you are not pushing for it and you're pretty sure that if you gave her a chance, she'll take it.

Note: If you are more desirous of her than she is of you then you best get out of such an arrangement cause it impedes your ability to meet other women.

The point is one of you is going to desire the other more so you make sure that the one with greater desires is her, not you.

I get your point MOS but what of the SEX THING?

Ok, see sex plays a huge role in forming female friendships.

Now it's possible to have female friends that you can hook up with but I advise against that cause one friend will always get more emotional than the other.

So if you want to sleep with girls then find girls to sleep with but don't overcomplicate things by trying to be platonic friends first.

Friendship should be for women you don't want to have sex with even if part of you might want to experiment a bit.

The reason why I tell you to strive to be in the potential mate role with a woman is simple…

• It makes the relationship much more solid and there is this undercurrent that you don't simply have with male friends plus the constant "what if" creates ongoing sexual tension which adds excitement and a bit of thrill to the relationship.

• It gets you used to women who are very attracted to you especially if you are working on becoming a charming badass, learning, and applying different game concepts to your female friends is a great training ground and also gets you more comfortable with dealing with sexual tension with the pressure that comes with.

• Your female friends will respect you more cause women respect attractive men who are sexual and unapologetic about their nature.

• It makes women notice you more. Imagine walking into a bar with five beautiful women by your side will catch the attention of every other girl in the bar. Though I'm not a big advocate of using your female friends as a wing just having a female friend who's flirty with you and attracted to you makes other women very interested to get to know you.

HOW TO FIND FEMALE FRIENDS

If you are in college, this isn't that much of a big deal - since you have all kinds of social activities in college where there are people your age that don't have much going on for them.

But I know the majority of the people reading this are no longer in college and that makes it harder to find people your age who are into similar things like you.

So where specifically should you go to find female friends?

It depends on the type of female friends you would like to have.

If you are looking for:

• Chill, relaxed female friends then happy hours, beach, park, social events, and anything that is not too high energy.

• Party girls then bars, parties, clubs, and lounges are the way but remember you are not picking them up as lovers but as friends.

• Popular and hot female friends then you want to have a job that gives you access to them but if not, cold approaching and meeting girls out shopping is the way. Try getting her to grab a cup of coffee then and there or set a meeting 3-5 days from then so you can translate things to friendship very quickly.

Note: You must communicate your intentions early on with girls you want to make friends with whom you meet this way. Don't imply with words but action. That means you meet up with her for coffee or hot chocolate once then you invite her to a group event. The reason for this is to communicate to her that you are the one who shifted this connection into friendship territory - not that you were chasing her and she deflected you into the friend zone.

Now that we are clear on that, let's talk about...

HOW TO MAKE FEMALE FRIENDS

One interesting thing I noticed about making female friends is women tend to have closer and fewer connections than men do.

This means that women's networks tend to be tighter and more difficult to break into.

If you are new to socializing then the best kind of girls to make friends with are the "club queens" cause they tend to have a shallow network of friends and acquaintances than the norm for most girls.

Which begs the question - How do you break in with all those other girls?

Now another interesting thing I noticed is if you are trying to make female friends, you will find out that the majority of women are:

• Cautious and will raise their guard.

• Have so many people vying for her attention and friendship that she is pressed for time.

• involved in a lot of social circles that she isn't interested in joining another.

For these reasons, you will find that sticking to the below rules will make it easier for you to make female friends:

• If you are making female friends then only make friends with the outgoing ones.

Outgoing girls are more comfortable interacting with others socially. They are more likely to take the initiative in making friendships happen.

• Make yourself very valuable to have as a friend. That's why I talk a lot about honing in on your fundamentals:

- How you talk

- Being a good conversationalist

- Body language & eye contact

- Knowing how to maintain a sexual vibe etc

Then women will find you valuable cause it's not just about resources but how you make her feel also.

• Look for women either new in town or newly single. Girls new in town are on a "social circle building" spree from the moment they arrive in town or 3-6 months in a new town.

Most women will also go on a friend-gathering journey after a breakup.

What you want to do is front-load your value in making new female friends which means being a giver.

After meeting her, invite her to:

• Hangouts

• Brunch

• Happy hours

• Hiking expedition with other people

• Parties

• Nights out at the bar or club

• Weekend activities etc.

The point is to start inviting her to do stuff with you - the more cooler and diverse, the better.

If you are not someone that likes doing this kinda of stuff then it will be a little hard on you but trust me, it's worth doing cause:

• It paints you as a fun-loving guy which is the kind of person women want to be friends with.

• It teaches you to be a better host and social connector which makes you good at reading people's likes/dislikes.

• It builds up reference points for you cause you are actively trying new things which helps you relate to different kinds of people plus you get a lot of awesome stories to tell later.

Now there are two things you want to do early on when forming a relationship with your female friends:

• You want to take her out to do something together.

• You want to go out on some group activities together.

The reason why you should do this you want to communicate with the group activities that you guys are just friends and nothing more while the one-on-one activities are to build a meaningful connection as friends.

Doing only group activities will slot you in the "security blanket and social connector" zone that's why you need the one-on-one activities to make things more real and deep.

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-MOS