BECOMING THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
A friend of mine who I attribute most of my "Game" to, always talked about the importance of ENERGY.
He said something like, “Do you know what I’ve noticed all naturals have in common? They boost the energy of everyone around them.”
This was something I had thought about a little before, but hearing someone say it clearly was like a lightning bolt.
Of course! That’s what naturals do, and that’s why everyone likes them so much.
That’s what I’m doing on my best nights.
That’s what YOU have no doubt done on YOUR best nights.
Anyone – man or woman – who is truly fun, likable, and sociable is seen that way because they raise the energy of everyone around them.
People who bring energy make others feel good; they make them feel included; they almost force them to have fun.
But some people say this seems a bit vague.
How exactly, they ask, do you bring the energy?
How do you become the life of the party – not the crazy person bouncing around, or the overtalkative one who doesn’t stop talking, but the real, genuine life?
So that’s what I’m writing about today. A detailed, step-by-step look at what it means to really bring the energy – and how you can easily do it yourself.
First, think of someone you know who everyone loves.
Someone people enjoy being around and spending time with.
How does this person act with others?
They are likely:
Fun
Happy
Inclusive
Seemingly carefree
People are drawn to this person because they feel energized when they are around them.
Socializing, and seduction, is ultimately about transferring energy.
If you make people feel good, they will want to be around you more.
This is how you make loyal friends and how you make women fall in love with you.
You add value to their life and make them feel good.
When you make women feel good, they will seek you out.
They will chase after you.
They will come up to talk to you again if you spoke to them earlier and then moved away.
They will want to bring you along when they go places.
They will want you to be part of their lives.
Now, let's get into the details: how do you bring the energy, exactly?
There are three main ways to bring energy:
Control the flow of the conversation
Be physically and verbally inclusive
Lead the group or person you are with
I’ll explain each one in more detail.
CONTROL THE FLOW OF THE CONVERSATION: One way to bring energy is by avoiding negative and boring topics and introducing positive and interesting topics. Negative or boring conversations make people want to leave, while positive and interesting ones make people want to stay and even attract more people.
Specific ways to control the flow of conversation:
- CUT BAD CONVERSATIONAL THREADS: If the conversation turns negative or boring, change the topic.
Move on to something more positive and engaging.
- INTRODUCE POSITIVE AND INTERESTING TOPICS: Share something exciting that happened to you recently or talk about something interesting going on around you. Compliment someone genuinely if you like something they say, do, or wear.
Ask people about things they enjoy and let them talk about those things, especially if they interest you too.
- USE ENERGY WHEN YOU SPEAK: Speak with excitement and enthusiasm. Use inflection in your voice and physical gestures.
Be lively to capture and hold others' attention.
BE PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY INCLUSIVE: This can be challenging for beginners but is very rewarding.
Making everyone in a group feel like your friend helps them to be on your side.
Include others both when speaking and when not, and they will appreciate it.
Ways to be inclusive:
- MAKE YOUR STORIES AND CONVERSATIONS INTERACTIVE: Instead of just telling a story, involve others.
If you mention a restaurant or bar, ask, “Have you ever been there?” If you talk about a favorite activity, ask, “Have you ever done that?” or “Isn’t it awesome when you get to do that?”
BE PHYSICALLY WARM: Put your arm around people's shoulders and give hugs to girls and close guy friends when you greet them.
Occasionally give light punches on the arm, especially if they seem distracted.
Use physical touch like a gentle "hip bump" to bring attention back to the conversation and make everyone feel welcome and focused.
REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE: if you interrupt someone or they get interrupted, make sure to come back to their story or topic later (unless it was negative). For example, "So you were talking about the supermarket?"
People appreciate when you show you're paying attention and respect their desire to share.
LEAD THE GROUP OR PERSON YOU'RE WITH: Make decisions and initiate movement. When the group needs direction, step up and suggest plans like, "Let's grab a table in the shade for lunch," or "How about we try the dive bar instead of the busy nightclub?" Providing reasons for your suggestions helps others feel comfortable agreeing. Leading a group brings energy and shows leadership, creating a positive feedback loop. Make decisions by stepping up when needed, especially when the group lacks direction. When people ask, “What should we do?” or “Where should we go?” they're really asking for someone to take charge. Step in with suggestions like, “Let’s grab that shaded table for lunch, it’ll be cooler,” or “How about trying the dive bar instead of the busy nightclub tonight?” Back your suggestions with reasons, and others will likely agree.
INITIATE MOVEMENT: This requires understanding the group dynamics and being aware of their energy.
Don’t force movement if the group isn’t ready; instead, suggest changes when they seem bored or restless.
For example, “Let’s check out the upstairs area, it’s my favorite part of this club,” or “How about we head to the pizza place next door? They have amazing pizza.”
By focusing on bringing positive energy to those around you, you’ll stand out in a positive way.
You’ll make their time more enjoyable and upbeat.
And guess what?
You’ll probably have a great time yourself!
-MOS