BECOMING A WILD MAN, Part 2: Set the "animal" free

To get back your raw man energy, you must get used to two old manly friends: struggle and pain.

We live in the best kind of world.

Our good actions always get something good back, even if we don’t see it. If we really did something nice – even for ourselves – it will be paid back either now or later.

In the same way, fairness is always served in balance, even if we don’t always notice the result.

The seeds we plant always grow, no matter how far we try to run. Even if we hide away at the top of a far-off mountain, away from danger, the worst judge of all – the one inside us – will rise from deep inside and tear us apart just like we’ve done to others.

The world is perfect.

But that doesn’t mean it always looks good.

ABOUT VIOLENCE

Watch this clip from Shutter Island. It’s one of the best movie scenes ever. 👇

https://youtu.be/DXY23gsHXXo?si=jrY3tEjsER4iHgmA

Here’s the word-for-word talk between the Warden and Teddy:

Warden: Did you enjoy God’s latest gift?

Teddy Daniels: What?

Warden: God’s gift. The violence [storm].

[Teddy looks at him confused]

Warden: When I came down to my living room and saw that tree, it reached out for me like a holy hand. God loves violence.

Teddy Daniels: I… I didn’t notice.

Warden: Of course, you did. Why else is there so much of it? It’s in us. It’s what we are. We fight wars, burn things, steal, and hurt our own kind. And why? Because God gave us violence to use for Him.

Teddy Daniels: I thought God gave us right and wrong.

Warden: There’s no right and wrong as pure as this storm. There’s no right and wrong at all. There’s just this: can my violence beat yours?

Teddy Daniels: I’m not violent.

Warden: Yes, you are! You’re as violent as they get. I know because I’m just as violent. If there were no rules and I stood between you and food, you’d smash my head with a rock and eat my body. Wouldn’t you?

[Teddy is about to leave the car but stops]

Warden: If I bit into your eye right now, could you stop me before I blinded you?

Teddy Daniels: Try it.

Warden: That’s the spirit.

“Wow, MOS, that’s really dark.”

Yes, yes, it is. It’s brutal and wild.

But it’s true.

The only reason some places seem calm is because armies are ready to kill anyone who tries to hurt us. Maybe we shouldn’t call it peace – a better word is just the pause of war.

Calm. For now.

But even that isn’t fully true, is it?

Murders.

Thefts.

Assaults.

Suicides.

These happen every day, everywhere, even in places called peaceful.

I stayed with a friend in a safe U.S. town earlier last year before heading back to Europe, and one night, a kid got shot just a short walk from our home. My friend heard the shot (I didn’t know what it was) and stepped outside to check. He found the kid bleeding near a lake, shot in the stomach.

He saved his life.

But we were all shocked. This was supposed to be a calm, safe area. Yet someone still got shot.

What was the reason?

An iPhone. Yes, a kid was shot over a phone that costs less than a grand.

If you think this world is gentle, take a second look.

It's perfect

But being perfect means it has everything.

Lies.

Anger.

Cheating.

Backstabbing.

Violence.

If you aren’t tough enough to deal with pain and cruelty, this world will destroy you. It will eat you up.

Even if you are tough, it still will.

Death waits for us all.

But before that day comes, you want to last and win, right? Then you must become tough. Dangerous.

And to become truly dangerous, you must be willing to feel pain.

THE PLEASURE-SEEKING MONK

“Unadorned suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth.”

– David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man”

We like pleasure and chase after it, but to keep living and enjoy that pleasure, we also need to get close to pain. We have to treat pain like a brother, like a friend who shows us truth, even if it hurts.

Also, without pain, we can't really measure pleasure. Pain and pleasure help define each other.

Sometimes, they even go hand in hand.

At boxing practice a few years ago, a younger student was taking the wraps off his hands after class and said to my master, “I think I’ll walk home with no shoes on.”

“Why?” asked.

“Because… I want to feel the pain. It’ll make me tougher.”

I smiled.

He got the male drive even at his age. He wanted to feel pain.

Men look for pain in the unknown. A man runs toward the storm, while women go the other way. On a basic level, women make the smarter choice, and they might live longer than us, but they don’t find the truths that we do. Well, sort of. They do go through childbirth and often handle the pain of breakups and betrayal better than we do (which is why they move on faster), but the hunger to feel real, physical pain – that’s a man’s thing.

And you should welcome it like a warrior.

How do you do that? It depends on how deep you want to go.

• Go on long hikes with little gear and camp outside for a week, or a few weeks, or even months. Leave behind the comfort of modern life and live like your ancient forefathers. I once spent a month in the forests of Peru. Except for one small hut miles away with Wi-Fi, I had no link to the outside world. Most of my days were spent cutting down trees, carrying super heavy stuff for a mile to the site we were building, and getting bitten by bugs – all while being hungry. It changed me.

• Join a boxing or MMA gym. Get hit in the face. Get beaten. I’d say don’t get into fights in the street, since they’re messy and can leave you hurt, locked up, or worse (though they’d likely teach you more).

• Lift weights often. Tear up your muscles and spend days healing as they grow back. You’ll look and feel like a beast.

• Try eating only once or twice a day. Try fasting for a full day or a few if you want a real test. Feel real hunger.

• Stop using all substances for a few months and face life as it is. Even give up sex and see how your drive messes with your mind.

• Meditate and face your inner darkness. If someone told you meditation is only peaceful, they don’t really meditate. Pain will come up fast.

Pain shows you the truth. It burns away lies quicker than any other feeling on earth. Pain is also not the final truth, just like pleasure, but it gets you the closest because it doesn’t lie.

Even if you’ve been weak your whole life, that pain was always inside you, waiting for a chance to come out. You kept it hidden with distractions, but once you face it, you’ll meet the beast in you – the one that will either bow down or eat you whole.

So, pain doesn’t shape your edge. It shows it.

You’ll start to see your natural strength in the face of pain – maybe even your love for it. You’ll start to crave it.

That’s how you begin your path into the dark side of your mind.

Stand in the storm long enough, and you’ll become the storm.

CAN YOU BE VIOLENT?

Every person has the power to do very cruel things. If you look back at your family tree, you’ll find many people who hurt or killed others. Hopefully, they did it to protect themselves or others... but history isn’t always clean.

When you understand and accept this wild side, you can start to control it. If you ignore it, one day it might take over and act on its own, no matter how polite or well-behaved you think you are.

If that idea scares you, good. That’s the point. Some people break down because they never took the time to face the animal part of them.

You must be someone people fear. If you're not, others won’t truly respect you. Everyone around you should know that you’re capable of violence. It’s part of being a man, even if that’s hard to accept.

Women often tell me I’m scary. My eye contact makes them uneasy. I’ve been told I sometimes look like a killer, or like a storm – scary, but peaceful.

That’s because women can tell I could be violent, but they know I’d never hurt them – unless they want that in bed (and many do).

She needs to know that you’re dangerous to everyone except her. She needs to feel safe with you. We don’t have to worry about wild animals anymore, but the most dangerous creature is still close by. That creature is man.

She must believe you can guard her from any danger that comes your way.

YOUR HEROES WERE VIOLENT

You probably admire a man who was violent, whether he’s real or made-up.

Think about someone like Genghis Khan or Alexander the Great. These men were behind the deaths of millions. But do we hate them? No. People talk about them with respect. Why? Because deep down, we admire a man who wanted to take over the world – and did – even if it meant people suffered. There was pain, fear, and death. Time has dulled our emotions about their actions, but that’s the point – when we step back from it, we just see their strength.

You will feel the same way about yourself once you embrace your violent side. You’ll stop being shocked by all the bad things in the world. That calmness will make you strong. It will help you think clearly and show others – especially women – that you don’t run away from danger.

You see it clearly. You might even enjoy it.

When I tell women about my fights or the cold things I’ve done to other men – like sleeping with their girlfriends – they get turned on.

Why?

Because women enjoy violence. It thrills them. That’s why they like athletes. They love seeing a huge football player knock someone down. They love seeing an MMA fighter beat someone into a bloody mess.

If someone told you that women hate violence, they lied.

If you fight a man in front of his girlfriend and beat him up, I promise you – she will get wet. When they sleep together later, she’ll be thinking of you. She’s drawn to the strongest, wildest man she can find. That man excites her in every way.

By accepting the wild part of you, you will also unlock a sharper kind of power – one that works in everyday life. You might not need to fight physically most of the time, but your social energy will be strong, and people will feel it.

Find the wildness in your blood – the Viking, the Aztec, the Mapuche, the Kikuyu, the Mongol, the Jomon, the Gaul, the Visigoth. That old warrior lives inside you.

And women want to meet him, because he’s the one who turns them on the most.

Next, we’ll talk about habits that will help you control and use that power the right way.

-MOS